Submitted by Holly on
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Have you ever really paid attention to the different feelings that certain people give you when you first meet them? It’s always good to give people the benefit of the doubt and treat everyone with kindness, but every now and then we run across a person who rubs us the wrong way or gives off an initial vibe that’s less than pleasant, and it has a lot to do with how authentic we perceive them to be.
Authenticity in fellow humans is something we naturally seek out because interacting with people who are fake or hiding their true selves isn’t fun. We often don’t know what to say to them because their phoniness makes us uncertain about them. So, we typically just avoid people like that altogether.
But, what exactly is it about authenticity that makes it so important? Authenticity is often viewed as a person’s ability to act, speak and behave in ways that are in line with their beliefs, opinions and passions, but it actually goes a bit further than that.
Inauthentic people are just as capable as authentic people when it comes to holding strong convictions about what they believe in. They can be passionate and stand up for themselves and their ideas when necessary, so we must look past that to truly understand authenticity and what makes it so important.
Psychologists have pinpointed a few characteristics and traits that are inherent to authentic people versus inauthentic people. These are traits that describe a person who is psychologically mature and functioning as a normal human should, versus one that is neither of those.
1) Authentic people are very realistic, can accept who they are and who others are, are thoughtful creatures, have a sense of humor that doesn’t attack others, can express their emotions openly, like to learn from their mistakes and understand the reasons behind why they do the things they do.
2) Inauthentic people tend to have unrealistic views of their reality, need other people to validate their lifestyles, judge others harshly, have trouble thinking with clarity, have a sense of humor that degrades others, do not like learning from their mistakes and rarely understand the true reasons for their actions and behaviors.
As you can see, we have good reason to avoid people who are largely inauthentic. They live a defensive lifestyle that is actively trying to portray a person who they are not. Regardless of how passionate and headstrong they are in certain areas of life, they are still trying to escape who they truly are.
When we seek out authenticity in others, it’s because we’re looking for signs that this person is psychologically mature, stable and capable of functioning on a normal human level. It tells us that this person is emotionally healthy and will not be toxic to our own lives. And that's why authenticity is so important to us as human beings.