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Why The Ego Is Not Really You

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From the moment of waking, there is a feeling of a self that permeates each moment, initiates a thought, drives a will, and experiences emotion. This self-identity defines its wants and needs and makes judgments throughout the day. It's this self that's felt to interact with reality, but this perception is not invariable. Most people have experienced alternate perceptions of self and reality: the slowing of time during an undesirable or boring experience, the acceleration of time during a pleasing experience, self-consciousness during a public appearance or while being berated by a supervisor, and the "zone" of an athlete during extreme exercise or the hobbyist engrossed in his or her activity.

Such experiences suggest just how malleable our perceptions of reality and self are and how much they are influenced by our thoughts, emotions, and the targets under the spotlight of our attention. Beyond the different perceptions of self and reality, each person creates inner monologues regarding self-worth, likes and dislikes, as well as a series of "could'ves," "would'ves," and "should'ves" that swirl like newly poured cream in black coffee, reinforcing this sense of self, the ego. The ego gives rise to the passions that power our ambitions and motivate our choices and behaviors. The passions of the ego demand satisfaction, which leads to actions that may counter personal ethics or ignore the needs of others. It is the ego that maintains emotional states long after the stimulus for the emotion has passed, maintaining emotional echoes that interfere with awareness, clouding reason and judgments, and affecting choices and behaviors.

In reality, the ego is a complex system of intrusive thoughts, memories, and mental habits that have been learned from childhood and sustained by repetition and culture. The ego encompasses two mutually reinforcing phenomena. One phenomenon is self-identity, the feeling of an individual self, the "I." The other is the process of self-referencing, the over-personalized experience of reality and repeating thoughts, feelings, and any internalized positive and negative messages of self-worth, including one's inner monologue. One analogy for the relationship of the two phenomena, self-identity and self-referencing, is a line drawing of a face. The lines, each distinct and separate from the others, form an image while the image gives each line its special significance.

The ego has no physical representation, being only a swirl of thoughts and memories, yet it can be injured and needs to be protected. It can be neglected and needs to be gratified. When an individual is insulted, humiliated, or threatened, the emotions of fear or anger arise, emotions originally triggered by impending physical harm. Because everyone shares this subjective experience, it's considered a natural consequence of being alive, and if it makes one feel happy without negatively affecting others, it's considered healthy. The fact that there's an entire profession dedicated to the healing and maintenance of a well-adjusted ego is testimony to the acceptance of the phenomenon of ego.

Article by Samantha Knowles

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