Image by granderboy from Pixabay
A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?”
The mother says, “It’s my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.”
The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant. About 4 months would be my guess.”
The mother says, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?”
Darla says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!”
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, “Is there something wrong out there doctor?”
The doctor replies, “No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss it this time!”
God’s Not Deaf
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents’ house the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers. The younger one began praying at the top of his lungs:
“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…”
“I PRAY FOR A NEW GAME SYSTEM…”
His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, “Why are you shouting? God isn’t deaf.” to which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!”
The Real Santa?
The local newscaster was with the crowd of parade watchers, welcoming Santa as he arrived in town, and in a live interview asked a boucey 4 yr old girl if she had talked with this Santa yet to give him her Christmas list. “No” she replied infatically. “Are you going to talk with Santa?” the newscaster asked. “NO” once again was the most definite answer which was not the reaction that he was expecting at all! “Why?” he curiously asked the little one. “Because the real Santa is at the Mall.”
https://desperatepreacher.com/christmas/xmashumor.htm