Submitted by LOGOS - Overseer on
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“Everybody loves a winner.”
Do they really?
Psychologists consider a little competition now and then a healthy thing but, what happens when the situation gets out of hand bordering on the extreme and ends up in a proverbial pissing contest? What’s a spiritual person to do to avoid letting that alpha-person get on one’s nerves? Remember it takes two to tango so stop fueling the fire.
Pissing contests occur in all walks of life and in just about every social situation. Obviously they are most prominent these days in politics. It's worth remembering that being competitive isn't bad - just being overly so. If somebody wants to be the best, but balances that with respect for others, competitiveness isn't a problem. A pissing contest ensues because all involved are taking it way too seriously. If you are working diligently on something and someone else is trying their damndest to out-do you, try to take it stride. If your work is good it will shine and nothing or no one else will deter its glimmer no matter how hard they try to piss on your attempts.
Some of the worst pissing contests occur over materialism. Gloating is a nuisance and who cares if something cost more or is a rare find? The one with the most toys does not win in the end… coffins don’t have pockets. This behavior can be diffused by honestly finding and expressing sincere happiness for the other person’s good fortune and letting it all go. If you cease to give a reaction to this type of nonsense, the pisser will cease thinking it important to tell you about it.
Learn how to laugh - long and hearty as it will prevent your ego from getting in the way. Let the other guy overspend on his material needs. You’ll have the last laugh when you reveal how much you’ve saved that could be spent on something more important that will bring true life enjoyment and happiness.
Let others know how much you love and respect them but that to you life is an experience and not a competition AND don’t get caught in their web by competing against them because that’s exactly what they want you to do.
Always being "right" ...
Some people are simply narcissistic and arrogant, and see you, according to psychologist Dr Melanie Greenberg, "as a potential threat to their own success, or as an object to use or manipulate in order to meet their own needs or increase their resources". Manipulation is large by-product of competition and a necessary component of a pissing contest. Manipulative techniques are based in fear behavior and are thus expressed as a strong desire to control others and situations. The worst kinds of pissing contests have foundations in this defense mechanism. When you think about manipulators, they are nothing but bullies with psychological flair. They like to blame you for things and are adept guilting others into doing certain things. In their minds, they can never lose a pissing contest because they believe themselves to be too clever and subtle to lose. What can be done about this piss puddle?
Avoidance can work but if the person is persistent, you’ll need more than an umbrella for the yellow rain. It might be better to be honest with them about their behaviors. Have a frank and upfront discussion about how you understand what they are doing and that it is unacceptable to you. Expect them to deny ever doing any of the things you say they are doing or trying to turn the tables and blame it on you. However, continue to explain that you don't care for the way they are treating you and they must stop immediately. If they truly have any feelings for you as a person, they will change their ways. If they still refuse to respect your wishes, then it is time for you to re-evaluate if the other person really has any meaning to your life. Remember, anyone who does not support your growth needs to go! If lying is at the basis of the manipulation you’re better off getting this person out of your life completely. This kind of leopard never changes its spots. Don’t let him or her keep pissing on you with their stream of lies and deceits. The master manipulative pissers will literally stoop to making threats. Some will say that they’ll leave the relationship or friendship if you do not comply or try to through down major blame on you saying they cannot live without you which really means they cannot live without your approval. This behavior is difficult to counter but you can acknowledge their threat and see if they will really carry through with it. Many times, their threats are empty and they end up backing down and trying something else to get their way. Believe this – you are not the only person they are trying to manipulate and piss on so get a clue here! Confronting a pisser may be uncomfortable but it is still better than remaining a pissee.
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