Submitted by Neely on
How to stop blaming others -
Whenever anything goes wrong with their lives and the world, most people like to complain and put all blame on others.
In their eyes, everyone is at fault, except themselves. Hence they find no reason in criticizing their own actions and taking responsibility in their hands. No, that is out of question. To them, only others need to be fixed, and if necessary by force. Once this is achieved, they believe that the world will suddenly turn into a more beautiful place, with far less conflict and suffering.
Of course, they have their reasons for thinking like this. This messed up world we are living in was given to us and every person is only a tiny part of it, without much power to influence it. As individuals, we are all just victims of the world and will remain its victims until we’re no more part of it. That’s how most people tend to think, but this way of thinking has tremendous negative consequences, both to themselves and the world.
What is the Point of Blaming Others?
When we’re constantly focused on blaming others we’re committing two basic, serious mistakes.
Firstly, we don’t realize that in most cases we’re part of the problem. For example, we might blame the mainstream corporate TV for manipulating people’s minds, but at the same time we forget that we the people are the ones who give them power as viewers in the first place. We might blame the politicians for lying to us, but who is truly to blame for that? We the people who support them with our votes. Or we might blame the greedy bankers for entrapping people into the net of debt, but again, we the people indirectly allow this to happen by supporting our unfair economic system that inevitably results into human acts of deception and exploitation. Each one of us is part of the world, and, whether we like it or not, part of its existing problems.
Secondly, we don’t give our attention to finding a solution. Yes, there are others out there who are messing up with our lives and are creating all sorts of problems in the world, but to place all responsibility on the shoulders of others and accuse them for their wrongdoings does nothing for the betterment of our society. So, instead of passively blaming others, wouldn’t it be wiser if we took responsible action to help create a positive change in our lives and the world?
Escaping the Trap of Blame
It’s easy to blame others for our problems and place all responsibility on their shoulders. To stop blaming others and take responsibility in our hands, however, is the most difficult thing and only a few are willing to carry the burden of responsibility.
That’s exactly why most people like to hold others responsible and blame them for their wrongdoings: to escape taking responsibility themselves and to not have to risk making mistakes and possibly confronting failure. Hence you see most people willingly allow others to have power and control over their lives, such as politicians, priests, and “gurus” of all kinds. Or they place the burden of responsibility on a savior: someone will come to relieve them of their suffering. They themselves don’t have to take action — another person will do the dirty job for them. This way, when anything goes wrong, someone else is always to blame.
But the price they have to pay for giving away their responsibility is much more than they realize. When we give our responsibility away, we also give away our freedom. Not being responsible for the life we’re living, we feel like victims of countless outside forces that are beyond our control. And the only way to regain our freedom is to become responsible. Once we do so, we’ll be more conscious of our actions and see ourselves as the creators of our destiny. Then, we’ll stop blaming others and focus on what truly counts: how to change.
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