To the shaman, life is to be enjoyed and cherished. Every moment should be filled with wonder and beauty and the uncomfortable moments merely there to teach us lessons. But there are some miserable people on the planet who appear to have no real problems other than their own self-created nightmare cycle of misery and pain. Being caught in this cycle blinds them to what’s really going on with them and they spew negativity and hatred all around. In this article I will explain what’s going on with these people spiritually and give you some tips and tricks on how to deal with these people who may appear in your life and not get sucked down into the “misery machine” with them. that they will actively go on the attack because the happy person exposes the pain and the miserable person just isn’t ready to deal with it.
We all have problems and life situations that are difficult. Some of us are very good at overcoming these and bouncing back into life with a smile on our face. To the shaman, a difficult situation is a chance for you to get outside yourself and see the situation from a detached perspective. Maybe it’s a messenger for some unhealed aspect of your life. Or maybe it’s a karmic debt you have to pay. Those on the shamanic path will willingly confront the issue and heal from it. Those not on the shamanic path may accept the situation and make it a part of their identity and life to the point it overtakes them. They become defined by life and their circumstances rather than tap into the power of their higher self to understand the situation is merely a lesson or a test for you to get through. The universe wants you to be a healed and happy person, but if you constantly focus on the miserable experiences in your life, the universe will gladly give you more miserable things to focus on until you get sick of it and wake up. And those who have realized that even though crappy and frustrating things have happened to them, they don’t let it define the rest of their life.
Miserable people hold onto a lot of anger, resentment and judgement about other people, situations and events. They hold grudges. They create drama. Their miserable personality must be preserved at all costs. So if you walk into a room with a smile on your face, you can injure a miserable person without even knowing it. You being happy just makes them feel worse about themselves even if you’ve come through similar circumstances. You can’t cheer them up or break them out of the fog because these are severely traumatized people. And they will continue to be miserable and spread misery until one of two things happens. They eventually make everyone around them as miserable as they. Or they reach a point with it and get sick of it and decide to be happy and heal those parts of themselves that are causing them so much pain.
Needing To Feel
To the shaman you don’t need to feel any certain way about any certain thing. When you’re in the flow of the shamanic path, events happen and you can easily detach and learn from what ever happens. In shamanism the things that hurt you always end up helping you so the shaman tends to greet difficult situations with joy or at least a calm acceptance of the lesson he’s about to learn.
The shaman can also attach to and enjoy a pleasurable and fun scenario. Doing this allows the shaman to have a happy life where the problematic and dramatic events never really touch him. The shaman accepts his life path as what it is and finds joy or calmness in every situation. As my elder shaman told me “A shaman never panics” so when your faced with a situation where someone wants to incite panic or fear where there is none, keeping calm in the face of this emotional maelstrom is key.
The shaman will also not control the situation for he understands that anything a human does is part of healing their soul or simply the machinations of soul evolution. They let the person scream at them or yell at them or hit them or whatever it takes to get those negative feelings out. In shamanic rituals, simulated fights of intense violence can be performed and acted out dramatically rather than physically as the negative feelings must go somewhere. And at the heart of it, miserable people just don’t know what to do with all their negative feelings. They would not seek the services of a shaman to assist with emotional clearing.
In a shamanic culture the miserable person would not be allowed to continue to spread their misery to the tribe so they would be taken to the shaman for healing. However in our modern culture we do not heal these people and in many cases allow their wounds to fester and infect the rest of us. If they seek help at all, they are directed to a therapist who may just put them on medication rather than help them deal with the core issues of why they feel the way they do. A shaman will take you to your core issue, heal you of it and send you back into the world as a happy, vital soul. In modern medicine we tend to treat the symptom rather than the illness itself. That is how this cycle perpetuates because people are blinded to as to why they feel things in the first place. People have become disconnected from their emotions and emotions are natural signals as to what’s going on in your life.
Anger is a clue. Jealousy is a messenger. Rage is a teacher. So not being in touch with your emotions tends to magnify other situations in your life. Unresolved anger gives you more things to be angry about. Untamed jealousy keeps you from realizing that you have the power to get things for yourself and rage teaches you that your issues have reached a boiling point where you are lashing out at others for what’s really going on with you.
However, these unresolved emotions can become part of a personality and thereby become addictive. Feeling anger releases chemicals into your brain just like any other emotion. Love releases chemicals just as much. You can get addicted to feeling emotions and that’s why it’s so easy to get trapped in a cycle. People look for things to be angry over to generate their “fix” of chemicals just as much as people look for love. Doing things this way leads to confusion, pain and a life not really lived. This is called being a slave to your emotions so the shaman would teach you how to detach from the emotion and use it as it was intended: messengers and teachers.
It’s Okay Not To Feel
Not giving into emotions takes mental discipline. You can foster this through meditation or do daily practice. It’s quite possible to feel irritated over something and just note that you are irritated without giving into the cascade of emotions that surround the emotion of irritation. You can choose to detach and not feel the associated anger, frustration, stress and fear that comes along with irritation. The next time an irritating situation arises simply view it from a detached perspective as it’s happening to someone else. This keeps you from integrating the situation into your experience and being able to move on from it quickly and get back to being happy and joyful.
But you are not an emotionless robot and there will be situations in your life that will be so frustrating and seemingly hopeless it will bring you to tears. When a traumatic event happens to you, your soul does something very curious with that trauma. You soul becomes fragmented and a piece of your soul ferries that trauma away until you can effectively deal with it. Being in shock over traumatic events is natural but if we were laid out completely over every traumatic event we would not be able to function. During a shamanic soul retrieval, the shaman claims those soul fragments, heals them and returns them to you. So in effect, miserable people are fragmented souls and in spreading their misery they are just looking for their lost soul fragments. And in some cases they will try and fragment your soul if their will is strong enough.
What About Physical Illness?
To the shaman, a physical illness is a representation in the body of a spiritual issue or an issue of the mind. Shamans understand the mind-body-spirit connection so when a physical illness manifests a shaman looks to the spiritual world or the intellect for a cure. Perhaps the afflicted is stuck in negative and limiting thought patterns like “I will never get better” or that their illness (which may be terminal) can define the rest of their life. Cures take place in many dimensions and sometimes the shaman can activate the body’s self-healing mechanisms or help the afflicted better manage their symptoms or help them understand karmically why they are experiencing what they are experiencing. As the shaman understands that your soul has chosen when you will die and under what circumstances and that death is not the end. A true shaman will also have gone through death and experienced it fully so he can tell you what the death experience is like. The shaman, after experiencing death, returns to physical life to help and heal others. So if a shaman is treating a person with a terminal illness they can help them come to grips with what they are going through with compassion and joy.
Miserable people who are defined by their physical limitations and their physical illnesses are being called to understand that life is more about this physical reality. There is a whole non-physical reality just waiting to be discovered. It is a call to be more spiritual and more compassionate and to understand that for whatever reason you decided to incarnate in this body to have this human experience so uncovering the mysteries of that can often bring back a joy or zest for life that might have been missing for years.
Dealing With Miserable People
Now that you know a little bit more about what makes people so miserable, understand that the only thing you can do when faced with a miserable person is to just detach and let their misery play out as it needs to play out. In a shamanic culture, the tribe would not allow it, but in our culture we allow our bosses to be assholes, our mothers to be controlling and our co-workers to be bitter and bitchy. We live in a culture that cultivates misery because our culture also sells the temporary cure in the form of entertainments and drugs and alcohol and other distractions from their misery. None of those things actually fix the core issue so our culture is highly invested in keeping people miserable and in fear. So once you detach from this culture of mindless consumerism and see it for what it is, you’ll be shocked to discover just how sick our culture is.
But you can live in this culture and not participate in it. Studies have shown that watching TV causes depression so if you’re depressed then the shaman would advise you to turn off the TV. If you are also drinking alcohol to deal with your problems, the shaman will suggest you stop drinking and take a period of sobriety to see reality for what it really is. Shamanic cures are fairly easy and difficult at the same time. And the shamanic cure for misery is to just find a reason to deal with what’s making you miserable instead of spreading that misery to everyone you meet. But miserable people cannot see how miserable they are because they see life as a huge challenge and filled with hurt and pain. And sometimes the only thing you can do is just walk away and say a prayer that the miserable person will one day see the light.
Much love from your friendly neighborhood shaman,
Patrick John Coleman